Are Oatmeal Cookies Even Real Cookies?
Be honest, have you ever craved an oatmeal cookie? Like, truly, deeply desired one over, a classic chocolate chip? No? Me neither. And yet, these so-called “cookies” keep showing up everwhere at bake sales, in grandma’s cookie jar, and worst of all, in mixed cookie boxes where they disguise themselves as something worth eating.
I once ate over two dozen cookies in a week (yes, I am qualified to judge), and let me tell you—oatmeal cookies are frauds. Let’s talk about why.
They’re Trying Too Hard to Be Healthy
Some people defend oatmeal cookies because they sound healthier. Oats = fiber, right? Sure. But let’s look at the truth:
- Still loaded with sugar. A standard oatmeal cookie has almost as much sugar as a regular cookie. Add raisins? Even more sugar.
- Butter?: A cookie without butter is just a sad cracker. Oatmeal cookies don’t hold back on the fat. In most good recipes oatmeal cookies have the same amount of butter as chocolate chip cookies.
- Chocolate chips in oatmeal “cookie” don’t make them better. At that point, just eat a chocolate chip cookie and stop pretending.
The Texture Betrayal
Imagine biting into a cookie, expecting a satisfying crunch or a perfect chewy balance, only to be met with…grainy, oat-filled disappointment.
- Too dry? Yep.
- Too chewy? Weirdly, also yes.
- Sticks in your teeth? You know it.
They Trick You in Cookie Assortments
You see a golden-brown cookie and think, Yes! A delicious treat! Then you bite in, and—bam—betrayal. No chocolate, just raisins.
If You Want Healthy, Just Eat Oatmeal
Look, if you’re going to eat a cookie, commit to it. No half-assing it. If health is the goal, grab a bowl of oatmeal. If happiness is the goal, get a real cookie. Oatmeal cookies? Not healthy nor happy.
The Final Verdict
Oatmeal cookies are impostors—not healthy, not quite delicious either. Just commit to real cookies. Or better yet, grab a brownie (or cake 😉).
What do you think? Oatmeal cookie lover or fellow skeptic? Let me know!